“After listening to The J. Album I recommend one thing: detox.” — Marylin Manson
“Earworms? EARWORMS?!?!?! Calling this music ‘earwormy’ is an insult to worms, and by extension, slugs all over the planet.” — Oligochaeteologist Tonya Randall
“After listening to Jackie and The Treehorn I conclude that this Jackie fella is deeply disturbed and is using this music as an method by which he can mask his true emotions. Of course, that mask is one of a clown, but a mask none the less.” — Dr. Phil
“Why didn’t I think of something this clever?” — Elon Musk
“It’s like every time they put a new album out…it’s their best album since the previous one.” — Cindy Walken, podcaster
“They are going to have to invent a new rating system for Jackie’s music.” — B.F. Torres
“Jackie is everybody’s safe word.” — Bear
“I thought I knew every technique there was, I mean, I basically invented all of them. Then I met Jackie.” — Les Paul
“I have heard the voice of G-d, and Jackie makes his voice sound like sh-t” — Moses
“I dropped it cause it’s hot. J Jizzle’s da’ Jackie mackie.” — Snoop Dogg
“Frank Zappa use to tell me ‘there aren’t any new chords.’ Then rumors started floating around LA about this musician who supposedly ‘discovered a new chord.’ We thought it was bullshit. Then backstage at The Roxy one night Jackie invites me into his dressing room and proceeds to show me something that absolutely blew my mind. It was the J minor seventh chord! Eternally known as the Jm7 that only Jackie can play. I know I can’t do it.” — Steve Vai
“You can’t tell Jackie to ‘fuck the audience’. He’s been fucking the audience since 1974!” — Ron Jeremy
“I have never seen anything like a live Jackie show” — Little Stevie Wonder
“If I had known this was going to come out of DC I would have stuck around longer.” — G.W. Bush
“Now I can return to Earth.” — Jesus
“Omar listenin’…” — Omar Little
“My ears will never be the same.” — Vincent Van Gogh
“This music makes me rethink my sexuality.” — Hugh Jackman
“I was going to go out and buy the new iPhone, but now I’m just going to download Jackie’s album 400 times” — Annoymous Blogger
“Jackie is what Willis was talkin’ ‘bout.” — Arnold Drummond
“Jackie does what Omar never could–put sweat on my brow.” — Brother Mouzone
“The Treehorn’s music hurts so good.” — John (The Coug) Mellencamp
“Look, they said Jackie coulnd’t do it, they said he was uninspired. Well folks, we now have hope.” — President Obama
“What in the hell is this?” — The Dali Llama
“Jackie treats music like women.” — The Dude
“It’s like someone took Johnny B. Goode, I Want To Hold Your Hand, Satisfaction, Blowing in the Wind, Purple Haze, Stairway to Heaven, Layla, God Save The Queen, Ziggy Stardust, Sunday Bloody Sunday, Born To Run, Purple Rain, Loosing My Religion, Smells Like Teen Spirit, Seven Nation Army, OK Computer, My Humps and Oops There It Is, and put it into one piece of music. Absolutely incredible.” — Click Livingston
“This makes me prostate with fear.” — Tony Soprano
“Jackie, that fuckin cocksucker? I’ll feed him to Wu’s pigs.” — Al Swearengen
“I might have to steal some of these beats.” — Puff Daddy
“This guy wanted 6% ownership of the New York Yankees as a bonus for signing with us. We were like, who in the hell does this guy think he is? Bob Dylan? A-Rod? F**k Jackie.” — Jake Goodman, Asst. to the Traveling Secretary’s Secretary, US Virgin Records.
